this is a blah blah blah crap

well, yea, im kinda pissed, its kinda been a shitty night, i have so much on my mind latly, u know? its been a bad week, we found out the new landlord wants to live here, and the old owner didnt even tell us he had sold the property! this is so mean, fucken a! i mean come on, so now we got to find a new place to live, and since we had no idea, we dont have anything saved up for deposits and stuff, its al fucked up, im so mad. everyhting is pissin me off, like when i was a teen, and i never got to do anything i wanted, cuz my mom was always so mean about it, she would never let me do anything i wanted and needed to do. its really upsetting me latly, i mean, i have always had a problem with it, but its pissin me off so much latly. she make me get a job at 14, and i had to pretend i was 16 so i could acutally have it. i didnt get to hang out as much as i wanted, and as far as looks, i couldnt do anyhting, couldnt dye my hair, couldnt wear the things i realy wanted to. i mean, yea it is stupid to get mad, but i mean, i really wanted to do those things, and when i finally moved out, when i was almost 17, i rebelled, yea i couldnt dye my hair, but i turned to drugs, i mean, at taht time, when i moved out i did nething i could do, i mean, why wouldnt she let me dye my hair? and why couldnt i wear a spiked colar like i wanted? it was dumb, so when i finally moved out, i did drugs, the family life was so bad back than :(. when i got pregnant i stoped everything, but i ended up havin a miscarriage, with twins, it was horrible, i saw them both, it ws the scariest night of my life, and also so depressing, a few months later i got pregnant again, with zoey:) she is all i got nowadays, and u nkow waht!??!?! im gona dye my hair! i dont have a job right now, i couldnt give a fuck what my image is, i dont do drugs anymore, which is awesoem :) but i mean, since i can have time away from work, i would really like to, i mean, i have time now to do it, but i mean, im an adult now, and why was it such a big deal back then? she alwasys thought that waht everyone else thought about me was so much more important than how i felt. i was diagnosed with severe depression and ocd when i was 13. she didnt do anyhting for me, i was on meds for less than a month, i went to about 3 therapyt sessions, i needed alot of help, and i didnt get anything. my ocd has gotten so bad since i have had my daughter, i cant even be in a car, its so bad now, and i read that usualy ocd will settle in around 30 and gets worse, im 21, im scared about what it will do in a few years. im ocd about alot of htings, its just so depressing to me latly, well i got to go, troys gettin all mad at me for writing, yea i guesse i should just shut up.

Salute to Dimebag

hey, watch this video, he was one of the most bad ass Guitarist of all time. i love him, RIP Dimebag Darrell, We love and miss you, we'll see you when we get there.

with love to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott 1966-2004